Friday, May 25, 2007

If Star Wars was an Anime...


The ones which amused me:

  • Han Solo, being the epitome of American Power, would be blond, carry around a HUGE gun, and scare small children.
  • The Emperor would have tall spiky hair and little bits of things would float upward in slow-mo when he zaps Luke.
  • X-wings and Y-wings would transform, and then combine to form a more powerful craft.
  • Jabba the Inju would get a lot more, um, friendly with Slave Girl Leia. (FAN SERVICE!)
  • Lightsaber scenes wouldn't be 9 (counted!) per 6-hour trilogy, but per half-hour episode.
  • Luke wouldn't have to use a rope to jump across a trench. Anime heroes can jump as far as they want to.
  • Emperor Palpatine would have a daughter. In an amusing mix-up, Luke would be betrothed to her.
  • The American voice actors would be crap, and the subtitled version would be more expensive.
  • Series titles would be Star Wars, Star Wars Zeta, and Forever Star Wars Double Zeta. People would argue interminably about the time line conflicts.

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